Kill the Farm Boy – Delilah S. Dawson & Kevin Hearne

Synopsis: Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told.

This is not that fairy tale.

There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened.

And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell.

There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he’s bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there’s the Dark Lord who wishes for the boy’s untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there’s a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar “happily ever after” that ever once-upon-a-timed.

“Peace and quiet and magic. That was what a Dark Lord wanted. Or quiet and magic and a thriving market for crossbred animals. Get a bunch of Chosen Ones running about unchecked, and one of the lot was certain to start gunning for the Darkest Lord around, assuming he had all sorts of terrible plans to call forth demons from the underworld and steal princesses and…honestly, that was just a lot of work.”

What a dong buster of a book!

Admittedly, I am not the biggest fan of puns. Give me immature, dark, subtle, sardonic humor.. GIVE ME BANTER!! I am all about that life. However, punny humor is way down my list of what I typically find funny. So.. why the hell did I want to read a book RAMMED FULL of puns?! Because it was written by the glorious Delilah S. Dawson & Kevin Hearne, that’s why!

Reader, it was worth it. This was such an easy, fun read!

In the land of Pell, Worstley the Farm Boy has been newly minted as the Chosen One by a fairy named Staph. Not only that (which is wild enough), but Staph has also given Gustave the ability to speak. From there, we meet a metric shit ton of characters throughout this tale. All of which I genuinely enjoyed reading about, especially Gustave. I fucking ADORE Gustave! If anything happens to him, we riot! Don’t go bacon my heart, guys ::WHOMP, WHOMP::

Kill the Farm Boy has banter, innuendo, slapstick, fart jokes, dick jokes. I mean, really. Do dick jokes ever get old? No, no they do not. It’s silly & zany & bonkers & mischievous. It’s a book that doesn’t take itself too seriously, yet is smartly written. Dawson & Hearne take every goddamn fantasy trope possible & delightfully poke fun at them throughout. NOTHING IS SACRED!! This is anything but the typical hero’s journey! It felt like a mashup of Spaceballs, The Princess Bride & Monty Python within a D&D campaign. Absolutely bananas! Fully ripened bananas!

I’ll be interested to see how the rest of the series progresses, if the humorous quest will continue to be quirky & fun or if it will feel like it’s being laid on a little too thick. One thing’s for certain, Dawson & Hearne make a helluva team!

-Holly

(Thank you Penguin Random House for sending me a copy!)

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